Toronto Photography Meetup Group

A workmate has asked for my services. Her husband just passed away Friday and she wants me to take photographs at the last viewing, and then at the crematorium. Later in the evening family and friends are meeting at a restaurant to celebrate his life. In the end she wants a collage of all this and other photos that have been taken leading up to his last days. The last bit I can figure out, but what does one take photos of at a crematorium? It all happens tomorrow (Sunday), so any input would be appreciated.

Ron

In addition to any input from board members I can't help but think that you'd be better off asking your workmate what she would want.

Ditto what Fionah mentioned, do ask your friend what kind of pics she would like.

Most of this is pretty much common sense but here ya go.

Some cultures/people approve of photos at funerals yet I find it awkward myself. If you're taking pics of people's personal moment with the deceased, I'd recommend you shoot with ambient light ie no flash. Last thing someone wants when they're at their most vulnerable is someone sticking a lens in their face with a flash going off.

Respect people's personal space, be aware of their body language and for the most part, be discrete. A long lens would allow you to stand at a distance and be inconspicuous. If someone is grieving and makes eye contact with you, try and gauge them, that's the time to use better judgement and maybe move on to someone else. For the family and friends shots after they've had their moment, you can certainly use fill flash as this is a posed shot. Don't always look for grieving shots just because it's a funeral, remember they want to remember the good times too, not a bunch of pics of people looking sad (despite the nature of the event) look for friends greeting the family members, the odd smiles etc.

Your friend would let you know if she would like pics of the coffin, crematorium and possibly the loading of the coffin into the hearth. Some crematoriums may only allow 5 or so close family/friends into the hearth area. They may make allowances for the photographer. There may be some last moments of the family saying their final goodbyes and adding personal objects into the coffin to be cremated with the body.

Good luck.

Thank you so much for the replies. Yes Fionah, I think it's a very good idea to ask my friend what she is looking for, and Carlton, you gave me a lot of good direction. Once again Thanks!

Ron

Carlton's right, but Fionah's point is the most important. I've been asked to do it twice. The first time, I was extremely discrete and tried to stay away from everyone. Turned out the family wanted me to be all over it, snapping like crazy, which was weird, because the mom/wife was basically hysterical the entire time. The second time a really good friend of mine had asked me, they only wanted me to take photos of the deceased in the coffin once everyone had left. Here's where it got creepy; Because the deceased had passed away from cancer, I was asked to touch up the photos in a way that makes the deceased look younger, like the way they remembered her. I couldn't say no to a grieving friend, so I went ahead and spent a few hours going through these photos in photoshop.

Well, the first part is all over with. It was the most uncomfortable photography job I've ever done. To Bartimus, I wish I had read your post before I left. I also was trying to be discrete, but feel as though I didn't take enough photos. Part of that was because my A700 has quite the mirror slap. I'm wishing I would have used my new X-10 in silent mode. I think the results would have been just as good. Anyway, now off to the "celebration of Life"

Ron

That's a tough job on the retouching...how do you stare at the screen for so long?

lol, it was really weird going back and forth between the original and retouched version. Definitely one of the more "unique" photography experiences i've had. It was even stranger when we sat down to go through the pictures and I showed him the changes I've made.

This gig is also getting weirder as it goes. I now have her photos and was ready to start the collage, but the majority of her photos are of her husband in diapers, usually with other people (friends, relatives?), obviously looking very bad. On top of that, she wants me to be changing peoples heads around (putting them of other bodies) and giving some of the guys breasts. She's thinking this would be real funny. (I did some of this for a birthday bash she had a year ago) I think it would be completely tasteless. Who would ever want to see a collage of someone suffering, surrounded by silly photographs? I think I may refuse, even if I don't see a dime. I guess my own feelings are getting in the way here, but that's just me.

Ron

What kind of messed up funeral is this??

yeah, that just got really weird.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I think as a photographer, you have to set your personal standards on what you are comfortable doing. Even if they want to make light of this, it's beyond my comfort level, double that if it were my photo they wanted "edited". Last thing I need is my name/reputation attached to something as sensitive in nature as that photo circulating. That's a bit of a farce if you ask me. That's so weird. I mean if they were circus clowns and dressed the part in the photo... well maybe... not.