I think this is a wonderful piece, that speaks of a common dilemma artists go through. In actuality, this " faking it" syndrome is not only common among artists, but rather, it is a human syndrome. I was on my second year of psychology when a stats professor explained this phenomenon, the so called "impostor" syndrome. Most human beings live in fear that one day they will wake up and everyone will know that they have been "faking" it, whatever it is that they are doing, that they don't deserve to be where they are at, and feelings to that extent. Uncertainty is a common trait, and that feeling of being an impostor never quite goes away. Bosses have it, parents have it, artists have it, DOCTORS have it. Everyone at some point feels the uncertainty that comes with assuming a so called " title " that identifies you as being a "master" of something. I remember my first role as a manager, my first photo shoot, and my first time talking to a kid about being an adult. I never felt quite like I knew what I was doing, and I was afraid someone would point out to the world that insecurity as well, identifying me as a full-out fake... although I had prepared myself, studied, and had all the qualifications for the "job", I still felt like I was out deceiving the world, showing off an exterior confidence I didn't feel inside.
So fellow photogs, rest easy. We ALL feel it. I feel it every time I hand out my work, or someone looks at my stuff. Although I love what I have done, I am my worst critic. Regardless of how I feel about a piece, I wonder if everyone else will look at it and think " What the fudge was she thinkin'" ?
But this same syndrome is what makes us great artists...we are constantly challenging ourselves to go further and get better, because deep down we feel we haven't reached that pinnacle of uniqueness and perfection we can achieve if we just keep trying. I, personally, have a love and hate relationship with it, but I'm learning to accept it as part of my creative process.
I haven't gotten close to where I want to be as a photographer, and an artist. And as long as I feel this way, I'm inspired to go out there and create something new! Cheers,
Lali
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